Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Just some thoughts.

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Going to school makes me depressed. I wish I could have met people who wouldn't leave me from the time I was born. I'm tired of searching, then gradually finding out that it's not The Person after a long time.

Repeat process all over again. Time frame may vary. Terms and conditions apply. Results not guaranteed.

It's getting tiring. Why can't life just be smooth-sailing? Life would be perfect if it could simply take out the ups and downs and give me some peace so I can take a break. Sometimes I think God is testing me. I know I do have my flaws, I'm not perfect, that's what makes me human. Yet I still haven't found that person who can accept me for who I am and the flaws that make up me, me. And I'm still searching and searching till that day. 

If it ever comes. I hope. 

I try to change myself. I've been trying. Maybe it's me. But why always me? Why not someone change for me? I hate feeling insecure. It's the worst feeling one can ever have of yourself. Constantly feeling like you have to live up to society's ideals, to become one of society so as to be accepted by all. Then again, it's subjective. You might be accepted, you might not. I'm likely to fall in the latter. 

My thoughts are all in one jumbled big grey mess. I can't even organize them properly. I'm just going around in circles. I don't know. It's 12:30AM. It's been a tiring day. Maybe my brain just needs some rest for tomorrow. I should be sleeping.

Wake me up when everything's over. 

Maybe leaving everything to God's plan for me will be the best solution for now. 

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." - Philippians 4:13

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"But those who hope in The Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" - Isaiah 40:31

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