Wednesday, November 20, 2013

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Aloha. I guess I haven't been updating for quite some time so I decided that I'm going to start now and end the procrastination (that might become endless if not for beginning now). I constantly remind myself to update my blog since I treat it like my online diary but somehow things never materialize. I have loads of drafts that never seem to be completed. This is what happens when you have overflowing ideas and can't string them into one seamless piece. Well, here I am now, rushing to pen down my thoughts that I feel like expressing at the moment before they're gone in a whim. Somehow I find doing things in the middle of the night rather productive. I suppose the serenity and stillness of the night fuels my inspiration and creates that perfect tranquil surrounding for me where I'm alone in my room. That's why I like making covers of songs and churning out new ideas as well as medleys on the piano at 11:30pm. I'm appreciate that my neighbors are understanding and none of them have ever filed a complaint about late night piano practicing. *phew* 

Anyway, my concerts and national competition is just round the corner. In less than 2 weeks. Everything feels so surreal. The intensive rehearsals are just beginning to start, the first year-end concert is on Saturday night. Everything is so packed. Not the mention, regular cello lessons in school, piano lessons and the much much dreaded holiday homework (which I have yet to begin on. And will soon have no time to complete). I admit the year of 2013 has been an extremely busy and intensive one, both academically and musically. I've experienced various ups and downs, from my worst performance ever, to having the privilege of performing at a soirée held at the Spanish Ambassador's Residence. While exhausting and disappointing, it has also been a fruitful and exciting year in my musical journey at the same time. I have gained so many new opportunities along the way to share my love for music with others and garner feedback from numerous professors on how to make my music more tasteful and professional.

There's no doubt I'm feeling flustered and anxious right now. I certainly need much more practices which I have not been diligently putting time aside for, being too preoccupied with unnecessary distractions that plague me everyday. My playing has not been up to the expectations I set for myself, and the standards everyone has for me. Which makes it even more pressurizing for me. I'm starting to feel the weight of everyone's expectations including my peers, juniors, seniors, friends, family and so many more people. My teacher puts lots of faith in me to excel and I surely do not want to let her down. And this is why I want to change my old ways and turn over a new leaf. It will not be easy to correct stubborn old habits but I will try. I will try my best so that I can have no regrets when I'm on stage and be the brightest star I'll ever be. 

Having played the piano since 4, it's even more than a decade. I truly believe that music is my passion and my medium of expression. Playing the piano allows me to let go of all my worries and occasionally reflect on life (my mind does wander a lot when I'm immersed in my playing). I even sleep with my grand piano every night. 

The black and white keys are my life. I believe music allows ones fertile imagination to grow and create wonders that no one can fathom. I can't imagine a world without the piano, much less one without music. It would be so lonely and empty. Music is able to fill us with warmth, compassion and humanity. I really am thankful to God for giving me this wonderful gift. I will not let You and myself down.

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