That's the problem with getting attached to someone who is leaving. A part of you just feels missing. And lost.

Missing so many people right now. All the emotions just come rushing in all at once and suddenly I'm longing for so many people to come back into my life. Thinking back to those days we spent together, the memories that remain in the corner of my mind, it was fun while it lasted. But reality strikes again, and we're separated.

Reminiscing about the past helps me to remember you, your faces, your smiles. I grasp tightly onto these precious memories, like trapping butterflies into glass jars, so that I can pull them out one by one, and play them in my mind like a video, so that the memories will not dwindle away as time passes.

So that I will remember you.

Even when I know that I should set these memories free and leave it all to fate to decide the future.

If we are destined to cross paths, I hope we will meet someday. I think of what I will do when I first meet you again, all the time. Would I recognize your face? Would I call out your name? Frankly, I don't know.

I guess in life, things never turn out the way we want them to. The unexpected happens and we deal with it instantly. That's what makes life so full of surprises. Though I would prefer, pleasant surprises.

I sincerely hope to meet these people again and bring them back into my life. Missing people is such a chore. It just makes one feel miserable and depressed.

"You can love someone so much, but you can never love people as much as you miss them."

Let's meet again in the days to come. I believe God will bring us together. I believe we will.

[just some late night thoughts, sorry for any incoherence or flaws. just had to put these emotions into words x]

It's March. And we're into the third month of 2014 and the 9th week of school. Wow, time really flies. Enough of that now and I'll go straight to the point. I would just like to share about something I've been reflecting about for a really long time.

I think I'm not very good at making friends. In my 16 years of life, I'm sure to say I have never really had a best friend, even now. I did and do have a couple better friends whom I could share my deepest darkest secrets and thoughts with. Having heart-to-heart talks once in a while is always a nice feeling. Having someone to listen to you pour out your emotions after an overwhelming day can be such great relief and painkillers. But people change. Many people come and go after leaving some sort of impact in life, and I do not deny that I still think about those fond memories from time to time, rereading old conversations, looking at old photos. I still do miss some of them. Admittedly, many of the friendships I've had don't seem to last. If I were to count the number of real friends I've had with my ten fingers, I would still have fingers left. Many times I look back and think, what did I do to destroy this special bond of ours? What happened? It always seems to start off on an exciting journey of getting to know each other, then slowly the novelty starts to wear off and the other person gets bored. The friendship begins to die away, like a star fading into the darkness. The question marks never seem to end and I know they will never be answered. I guess we just drifted apart. Or we were never meant to be. I actually am very envious of those who have found their life companions early, it's a really great feeling to have someone you know will stick by you in times of difficulty, share your secrets, happy times, forging so much more memories together.  

But hey, then again, I shouldn't forget those whom I'm still keeping in touch with, ever since we were young. It's really wonderful thinking how each of us went our separate ways and drifted apart, never expecting that we would cross paths. But we did (and proved that this world is not as a vast and lonely as it seems). Seeing how much we have grown, no more chubby cheeks or toothless smiles. The same old friends I always knew. The friendships that lasted more than a decade. I'm definitely grateful for those.

I've learnt that people come and go in our lives. If they're meant to stay, they will. But what I do not want to regret is not holding on to and cherishing my friendships when they lasted. 

I haven't been updating much since my life's been so hectic practically everyday. So I'm using every little pocket of time I have to take a breather and collect my thoughts. Thankful that the workload hasn't been so heavy this two days so I have time to recuperate from the stress. Thinking about homework makes me so tensed up, with the never ending deadlines which reminds me that I still have outstanding work due I better catch up on. 

Anyway, recently I received this email titled "Little Things" and it really helped brighten up my day. Basically, the receiver of the email will be tasked with sending a pre-assigned person a quote or anything nice. After all, it's the thought that counts. And it really does. Like they always say, it's the little things that make you cherish life. So far, I've received really inspiring and beautiful poems and quotes. Opening my mailbox and finding little surprises like that really put a smile on my face. It's something I don't receive everyday, other than the usual slew of important (and not-so-important) mails. Curious, I went to research about the creator behind this whole initiative and I found out that it existed way back in 2012. I only wish I had found out about it earlier. It's a wonder how such little things, though seemingly trivial and insignificant, make up the simple joys in life and keeps me going. 

2014 is just around the corner in a few hours and I can't believe how quick the year has flown past. Just like that, and I'm another year older. It felt as though 1st January 2013 was just last month... 2013 was a year with many ups and downs, especially having opened myself up to various opportunities and being placed in a new environment, I'm glad to say that 2013 has been a fruitful year (undoubtedly, with all the wonderful concerts, great masterclasses and competitions I've participated in that have helped me mature musically). I definitely have grown a lot along the way, learning from past mistakes, forging new friendships, recovering old ones, creating everlasting memories together. I've been very blessed this year and I'm overjoyed to have ended this chapter in my life with a bang (with the wonderful experience in Childaid and winning 2nd in NPVC and of course, our much called for enjoyable Europe vacation)!!

Of course, a new year marks a new start. And a new start means new decisions to be made. As Neil Gaiman put it, "Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make your mistakes, next year and forever." It's time to abandon past grievances, acknowledge my mistakes, celebrate my triumps and hold on to the beautiful times. To thinking about what I want to do, forget about whatever happened in 2013 and move on. We only have one life and it's time to make the most out of it. 

Having said that, 2013 was a great year putting aside the unpleasant times, and I'm sure 2014 will be an even better one! Cheers to a new year and let's make it right! :-) 

P.S. Looking forward to filling in 2013 in dates and realizing I'm one year late. 

"For last year's words belong to last year's language, and next year's words await another voice.” - T.S. Eliot

Today was the last day of school. It has been such an emotional day, bidding farewell to so many people who have inexplicably left such a lasting and meaningful impact on me. Without the presence of these wonderful angels, my school journey would not have been so enjoyable, so memorable, so bearable, so exciting. 2013 has been a year full of ups and downs for me, having been thrown into a new environment, a new class, new friends and new teachers. It was really a great challenge for me, mustering the courage to face reality of being alone, away from the comfort of being with my old, familiar friends. The journey was definitely not an easy one, dealing with many obstacles in my new surroundings. But thinking back now, I sure am glad to have been put in such tough circumstances. They have enabled me to grow stronger, to forge new friendships and to create beautiful memories that color my learning journey with so much vibrancy and joy.

On a lighter note, it was an exciting and fascinating experience being an emcee for the secondary 4 graduants. Standing on stage, enunciating every syllable for maximum clarity, projecting a smile on our faces every other time when we were not talking – I enjoyed every moment of it, before and during our emceeing. Though it was my virgin try being an emcee and I did get a little confused once or twice, this was the least we could do for our seniors as a parting gift.

                            

The view from backstage!

Us fooling around backstage in our banana suits. 

                           

                           

Sorry for the poor resolution; we couldn't risk ruining our reputation of being emcees who camwhore backstage....heh...

As they always say, another goodbye signals the mark of a fresh start. Indeed, it is a new beginning for all of us. The opening of another door; the mark of the start of a new chapter; the beginning to a better life. 

This is surely not the end. It has only just begun. :-)

So I saw some cute pockypockys at the supermarket yesterday. I love going to the supermarket because that means stocking up on my Box of Happiness. I love knowing how it's full and everything inside is just meant for me. No one see but me.

TADAAAA. Behold my holy cheese balls. <3 I guarantee you this box is going to be almost empty in a few days. 

Who can even resist this? Maybe me since I didn't get it. I've learnt my lesson ever since I got the rilakkuma one which stayed in my cupboard till the expiry date 1 year later because it was too precious to eat. T___T It's somewhere in the rubbish dump now.

                               

I like the back of the box; it's filled with LINE stickers for Halloween. :>

Speaking of overseas food, I can't wait for our vacation. SNOW SNOW SNOW. We're gonna be returning to Switzerland and Paris again as well as to the Black Forest in Germany (well, to taste the Black Forest cake of course.) Plus, we're gonna be visiting Paris Disneyland during Christmas!! HOW EXCITING IS THAT. There's gonna be fireworks for sure like during the time we went to California Adventure Park and happened to marvel at the surprise fireworks show. I remember sledging in the Alps was the best part of my life. Sooo awesome and cooling. It's like free aircon everywhere you go @ 16°C (though it's probably even lower than that since we were up on the mountain. It was freezing even when I wore 3 layers inside with heat packs stuck all over.)

The majestic Alps in Switzerland. Wow. 

All that snow seems so surreal. 

Just look at that fresh bed of snow. I'll be coming for ya in more than a month's time.

AND THEN THERE'S PARIS. 

                              

The beautiful Eiffel Tower that sparkles every hour (I think). It's really pretty to be able to marvel at the shimmering lights and the Eiffel Tower is actually nearer to us than it seems. 

I remember it was too cold to go up the third level when all of us were already shaking like leaves on the second level so they closed it. :< 

Panoramic shot of the view. (Actually I just felt like using that panaroma function on my phone so there you go)

You can see the Louvre there with that long path leading to the main grounds. Surrounding it actually is lots of greenery. Can't wait to go there again in the day. The Paris night view is just breathtaking. 

               

Back to the daytime. Arc of Triomphe to honor Napoleon's victory. We also passed by the lamppost nearby where Princess Diana died at a car crash there.

 

The skyyyyyy. We actually saw many Brazilian flags around since we happened to visit Paris when the Brazilian president came to visit. I learnt that Brazil is actually good friends with Paris.

I guess I'll need to clear my phone memory to make space for our 2013 trip. I CAN'T WAIT SERIOUSLY. We're flying off after all my competitions and concerts so yay it'll definitely be a breather for me. :-)

CAN'T WAIT. (I just can't say this enough.)

So I had a photoshoot yesterday for ChildAid 2013's concert booklet. This year's theme is carnival which explains the face paint only face and the flamboyant costumes. The acapella group even had to wear multi-colored clown wigs to add to their bubbly personality :-) As for me, I got to put on my long ocean blue gown (Finally an opportunity to wear it.) or the photoshoot along with a white silver trimmed tutu collar and a golden mask. My make-up artist was this lady with a cool skull-roses tattoo on her arm and she's so pretty! And voila, after the loooong preparations, I was finally ready for the masquerade! It was quite an unconventional photoshoot I have to admit, the dressing and all, especially since we were left on our own to strike interesting poses with the mask as quick as possible. I can't wait for ChildAid 2013, it's so gonna be a blast with so many new friends to make and an exhilarating experience! \o/

I like my face paint though. It's so pretty! (Except for the parts that got smudged by accident. :< ) I should have chosen blue braces though, they would have matched my dress.

Anyways, moving on. I have a newfound love now – medleys! I love coming up with my own medleys. It's so fun and the ideas just keep pouring in as you play them on the piano. I still have much to learn about improvisation from Kurt Hugo Schneider, he's my ultimate favourite medley-difier!! The self-gratification that comes after is just undescribable. It's like I've accomplished something I've never done before. So far I've tried piecing together Just Give Me A Reason by Pink, She Will Be Loved; Won't Go Home Without You and my all-time favourite medley piece Payphone all by one of my favs, Maroon 5! I'm currently working on Katy Perry's new song Roar and Just Give Me A Reason. I was humming the chorus of Roar when out of the blue, JGMAR (sounds weird when you try articulating this word out) came into my head, so there you go! A medley!

Looking forward to more medleys coming up and I'll probably record them down if I think they're presentable enough. It's gonna take a lot of courage to do so! ;)

Btw I'm rocking my new ios 7 now, it's awesome :") Here's a photo of some overly attached girlfriends for you. :> 

*Viewer discretion advised.*

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Hahahaha betcha didn't expect that.

Today was a fun day. And also, a very very rainy day. The rain kept pouring intermittently every 3 minutes, so bipolar. Simply decided to keep pouring on us nonstop. We hadn't even reached the bus stop when the torrential rain started to pour down on us again. We actually waited for it for so long and even got so excited when it stopped. ("Stopped.") And the cars kept splashing rainwater on our legs, making our mini FBTs and t-shirts wet. At least we had fun squealing while waddling in the puddles as the cars sped past so we decided to just take shelter under a flyover, using the one and only, reliable pink brolly to shield us from the chilly wind. Even our shoes went splishy splashy because of the muddy rainwater. Ew. But we were rather preoccupied with doing something else that it took away the mundaneness of it.

Camwhoring – bringing waiting under a bridge to a new level!

Can you see the rain! (Okay not really. The point is just to see our faces.)

The rain completely ruined our plans to walk after gobbling down so much Pizza Hut and spicy chicken drumlets to burn fats. We kept raising our hands to attract the attention of the waiters continually so they kept having to come to our table (we chose the table since the sofas were all so pokey and old) to attend to us. In the end we had to take the bus while dripping wet. Hurhur.

But that's not all of our mini adventure today. Spamming rilakkuma tattoos like nobody's business! Supposed to have a movie marathon but ended up ignoring it and being so immersed in tattoo-ing ourselves.

Pardon our hairy wrists psh. 

We have rilakkuma sleeves now! Hardcore rilakkuma homies yo. 8) Now I feel so careful everytime I rest my wrists on a surface and frequently check whether the rilakkumas are scratched. I can't remember the last time I put on a tattoo. That was so long ago. I remember da Ong family was crazy over these temporary tattoos and we just bought packs of them if we liked the stickers haha. Anyways, we look so badass in our tattoos.

With my giant cuddly rilakkuma. <3

 More camwhoring on the mac. Wave of unglam photos on the way.

I was so tired after leung came that I just plopped down on bed and slept for 1.5 hours. Oh wells, today was enjoyable, having camwhored and tweet and instagram under a bridge while waiting for the rain to stop. I can't wait for more crazy days like this. 

"Life is a white canvas. You fill in the colors. "

I like this picture. I like the soothing colors, the relaxing view, the dreaminess of the clouds. The texture of it simply resembles a painting. So surreal. The gentle blend of white and blue to create a perfect hue of serenity. It's like I'm drifting in the sky, looking down on the all the skyscrapers and buildings. They say the sky is the limit. I feel like I can soar higher and higher. Like a balloon rising higher and higher. 

This photo was taken on a breezy, tranquil Saturday morning. I like Saturdays. Its the only time when I can hang loose, laze on my comfy bed and wake up later than 10am in the morning (unless I have something scheduled sigh). I love waking up late. I don't really see the point in waking up early. I need my beauty sleep.

ヽ(●＾▽＾●)ﾉ Sleeping is important, it's one of my top priorities. Sadly I don't always adhere to my sleeping schedule. And I end up regretting it every morning, yet again can't be bothered to at night even though I attempt to persuade myself all the time haiz.

Rawr.

It suddenly dawned upon me that I've already been through almost 1 and a half decades of life. That's really long and the thing is, it seemed like I was just Year 1 a few months back. Time passes so quickly that you don't even realize it. Maybe it's the earth spinning quicker since it was shifted off its axis during the Japan earthquake (that must have been quite an impact) - I know, I listen in geography lessons - But that's not the main point. I suppose time is always ticking away, I'll die to buy time. Wait no, if I die then I can't use up the extra time I've gotten. Scratch that. I'll love to buy time. I really wish how I could teleport back to those times when I was in kindergarten having fun playing around in my mini kitchen, serving fake plastic vegetables and fruits to my grandpa, cutting them up with my pink hello kitty chopping board set, wearing mommy's high heels. The list is endless. I guess I could still do that too if I wanted but there's just not enough time. School is overwhelming, the work just keeps flowing in like flood gates, I don't get to experience a day where I have no homework to do. There's always that never-ending responsibilities to fulfill. If it's not homework, it's piano (and I have  masterclasses with the prof from Royal College flying over from London). Life is ever so busy. It's only August and I already can't wait for December holidays. (Not to mention, ChildAid 2013 & National comps). Sigh. That's life. We live for the future. The present has become the future. We study to get good grades to get a good job so that we can support our own family next time, to allow our children to have good education so that they can get good jobs and support their own family. It's this eternal cycle.

But as the saying goes, every cloud has a silver lining. Though life may always be hectic, hey, at least I still have people who care for me to talk to, to confide in, to laugh with, to have fun together. It's all these little precious moments that makes life, so memorable and cherished. We can never go back to the past, but we can sure create our own future, and we can definitely enjoy the present for as long as it lasts. 

Awww♡

I was such a crumply newborn then hahas. 

 

Now | Then (also 3 years ago). 

I can't buy time, but I sure can reminisce about the old times, and embrace the now me. I'm still a teenie, I have many more years ahead of me and it's all up to me on how I want to spend it. For all I know, I'm very sure I want to enjoy life to the fullest! So for now, let's just Carpe diem!